Just to update - we're going out again tonight to another costume party (a bar - gulp, i get nervous wearing tights in public, thinking every guy thinks i'm "gay"), wearing the same thing...should be fun, but my "mental" thing will shift into gear i'm sure once we lie in bed...BUT - she is not *expecting* sex per say, this time...i talked to her about my longterm relationship recently ending, being anxious, etc, and while she wasn't completely 100% understanding, she was kinda cool about it (i got the "this is weird, the guy ALWAYS wants sex - this is like a role reversal!" thing - oh well, nothing like trying to make me feel better)...

>>Hi - i'm now in my late 30's, straight, single, like to see women in tights/pantyhose, and like to wear myself to masturbate, and only in public on maybe halloween. Not a crossdresser. Get off on the ballet, love tights on women, and aroused when women and men are dressed in tights.>>Does anyone ever fear that this fetish gets in the way of "normal" relationship or sexual functions? Case in point. Saturday night, i went to a halloween party at a club with a girl i met through online personals. She's pretty attractive, tall, long legs, good body, and best yet, REALLY into halloween and wearing costumes (at least around halloween, not sure about all the time)...so, I made up this lie that I had made a bet and needed to be photographed in public as Robin Hood, complete with green tights.>>She never blinked, said it would be fun...i suggested she go as "sexy" robin hood, and got her the same high quality, silky green tights as me, and this little sexy robin hood outfit. She was fully on board, and we got dressed at my place, and we kissed and rubbed each others legs. Oh yeah - this is like a second date.>>So we go out, have fun, i can't stop looking at all the slutty, pantyhosed costumes downtown, i'm feeling so horny with her dressed like me in tights. It was great, totally. Totally awesome....We go home, fool around in our costumes, and that's fun, i'm still hard as a rock of course (of course!!!!)>>But I KNOW she wants to have sex so bad. I'm fully hard, but as soon as I take her costume off, and my tights off, and *try* to put a condom on, nothing...i just went limp. Sucks. She was bummed out, didn't understand of course, and i was too. I mean, here is a willing and able girl, and I can't take care of business. What guy can't take care of that??>>I think in alot of cases I have general anxiety around sex ANYWAY, and there could be other factors (just getting out of long term relationship, but mentally not out of it yet) but i think that looking way to much, as I have been, at pantyhose sites, and beating off to it, might not be 100 percent healthy. Oh yeah, I hate condoms so much, there might be a psycological thing there, too..>>I'm totally "normal" in every other way, but this makes me feel like I'm not able to really have a normal relationship or whatever. I struggle between "embracing" my quirky "difference," as it's a part of my sexual identity (right?) and totally trying to shut it off.>>Hey- I'm thirty-something, would like to have a lifelong girl/wife, and kids most likely, but cases like the other night bum me out...SO - I'm going to see a sex therapist Friday. I had a quick call with her to see what she said, and she said I should come in (of course she did, at that rate)...but before she hung up, she said the p-hose fetish is much more common than you think...that's fine, but not sure if that helps me...maybe she can.>>any thoughts are appreciated.>.>.>.>>>>>>>>My guess is that since you "hate condoms so much", that was a very large part of the situation. You were mentally shifting from eroticsm to "Oh, damn! What if..- what if..- what if..." Never a good thing from the virility standpoint. I, too, hate condoms. A very primitive means of birth control. Like the old joke says- "What do you call a couple that relies on condoms for birth control?"- Answer- "Parents!">My beloved Marie & I had to use them for about 18 months fairly early on into our marriage due to health problems on her part. Worst time ever in our sex life. I, too had an attractive, willing partner, and I, too, often lost the "wind from my sails" (at the time, I was in the 29 to 31 age range). Nothing like the prospect of an unintended pregnancy to quench the flames of passion. And we were MARRIED!! If it DIDN'T bother you, it'd be because you had no concern whatsoever for your partner, your honor, or your responsbilities as a good man. I take that as a good sign of your character. >I had a vasectomy at age 31, and consider it the best money I ever spent. In my humble opinion, you need to do some soul-searching about your possible desire for kids in the future. If, as you say, you'd "most likely" want kids, I have no easy answer for you. If, however, you decide that kids aren't wished for in the portrait of your life, then I strongly recommend a vasectomy.>I love kids (as long as they go home after the visit is over!). I have numerous nieces & nephews, all of whom are always glad to see their Uncle Vic. I've also just become (last spring) a grandfather (egad!) thanks to my stepson.>If you're in your late 30's, your "biological clock" may have a long way to go, but your energy level required to cope with offspring is NOT gonna last forever. >Good Luck, Vic

• Re: conflicted....halloween fun, but confused - pinktights_blackleotards at - 01.11. 19:57:30