 the male dancer
written by Dancing Fool               on 25.09. at 06:03:07 - as answer to: Dancer Swimwear by Ballet Buddy at>One of the girls in the fast class invited me to a cook-out this past weekend. Almost everyone from the fast class was there, like fourteen girls and five guys (typical ballet ratio). It turned out to be a real nice day and we all wound up in her swimming pool.>All the guys except me had on real brief bikini swim trunks. They were even briefer than speedos. I know this sounds trivial, but I was in boxers, and I once again felt like a geek outsider. Eventualy our hostess's brother came to the pool, and he was in boxers too. But I'd rather have fit in with the other ballet guys, than her non-dancing brother.>Do most male dancers tend to wear European style bikini swim trunks? I have a good athletic body, but I am slender and boxers don't really flatter my physique. I'd like to get a bikini that looks good on me, just in case I ever get invited again. But I don't ever see that kind of swimwear for sale in any stores around where I live.>Please don't think I'm a total comformist. I'm not. But I would like to break into the "ballet clique" at my school, and so far I'm not doing too well with it.>Ballet Buddy Ballet Buddy, you state, "...and I once again felt like a geek ousider." Isn't that the real problem? Forget boxers vs. briefs. You sound like you want to be with the "in" crowd, and that this has been problematic for you as much outside of dance as in. All I can advise you is that you're dealing with a "pack" mentality - a bunch of guys who have known one another for awhile, probably hang together and do stuff when they're not dancing, and are hostile to outsiders. That they are dancers, who probably face external hostility on that score, makes their bond tighter, and harder for you to crack. The way into this crowd is to try befriending them individually. Together, they may be too formidable. But there must be at least one of them who is more approachable when separated from the rest. You are the best judge of who that might be, and what the optimum time for contact would be. Are there other non-dance events you might be likely to see any of them at? Do you attend the same school? Do you know of any other interests you might have in common? Any mutual friends? Also, be friendly, but not too eager - desperation is easily detected. Keep your cool and stay courteous if rebuffed. Hope this helps. Answers to this message: 
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